Sometimes you just have to let it all out then let go.

This week I have been working too hard, working on 3 projects at the same and getting all conference calls at night.  Tyring to bury myself with work so that I won’t really have to think of other things going on in my life.   You see, i just went out from a crazy relationship.  The bad thing is I fell in love with this person so much.  Trust me, this person is a good person and yes, his reasons for leaving me are valid in some way.  No, there’s no third party and no, it’s not me — it’s him. 

 So here’s the thing, all through the process of this phase, I was trying to make sense of what happened.  I was sad, not mad.  I don’t even hate.  But one thing I realized today, I was mad and I hate what has happened.  Yes, I hate him for leaving me.  I am mad at him for not seeing me at the airport.  I hate him for all the things he never even tried doing. It took me the stress I had from what I have doing with work to realize I have all this.  I needed the anger/hate part of healing. 

No, I am not saying I am already okay but at least after getting this all out, I feel better.  Sometimes, you just need to acknowledge the pain, hate, love or whatever feelings that you have inside.  Sooner or later, it will come out.. Yep, in one way or another, it just has to be set free.